Bits and stuff

There are several things I forgot to say about Ireland, namely that the crimes against hair committed by teenage lads are horrendous and they should all have their styling gel confiscated immediately. I shouted ´rubbish´ at lots of them and, sometimes, I even opened the window before doing so.

We passed a dog in the act of what seemed to be making love with another dog only, as we drove past, we realised that the dog was, in fact, having its wicked way with a sack of potatoes. I know it is childish and silly to personify inanimate objects, but the sack of potatoes did not look as though it was having a good time.

The Irish are a chatty bunch - on the bus to the airport an American sat down and was immediately engaged by the elderly Irish chap next to him. They chatted politely for a bit before the Irish asked "And how old are you, then?" The American looked a trifle surprised at such a personal question but answered nicely, ´51´.
´51!´ The old man gasped and looked thoughtful for a moment and then leaned forward in a confidential manner and asked, ´Would you be having Botox then?´
In truth, the American did look a lot younger than 51.

Spain so far is terribly nice and warm - Katie and I are living it up in a wanky apartment on a small beach outside Nerja where we are being awful travellers and doing nothing. It is very nice. We only scraped the hire car a little bit and I´m sure that dog deliberately stepped out in front of us.

We spent the first night searching for tapas at 11.30pm, being stared at incredulously by old men when we said we didn´t want booze only food. They insisted on buying us shots anyway.
We were then mistaken for Germans. About the only good thing with that encounter was that I understood what the young man was talking about.

Katie and I have so far attempted to make conversations with the Spanish in German, English and French. Spanish just seemed too easy.

Yesterday we got caught comparing fat rolls by a Scottish real estate agent. For the record, Katie does not have any.

Right. Am utterly determined to get to Granada today as we have to get Katie some bike parts. Some jockey wheels, apparently. I will buy more chocolate because yesterday I left a block in a hot car and, well, you can guess the rest. And we need some sangria. Probably a lot of that.

And yes, I am having issues with the quotation marks. But I really don´t want to use doubles. It makes me feel ill.