Thursday, May 20, 2010

Putting on my pathetic pants

So, Nic and I were wandering home from quiz night, stopping off at the Salvos and St Vinnies on the way, seeing what people have left outside these fine establishments as donations - people leave some weird stuff. This is how I got my favourite cardigan. Anyway, there was a box of books, which is like cat nip to Nic and I, and we were rifling through it with fevered brows - what might we find?

At this moment, four large men walked past, one of whom was rather intoxicated and took umbrage with us stealing from the poor. Given my unemployment status I rather think I am the poor but anyway ... I backed away feeling fearful and thinking that my skills, which do not include fist fighting, were going to be better deployed calling for help on Mr Mobile Phone. Nic, meanwhile was being all nice and non-confrontational, whilst this chap got rather angry and had to be somewhat restrained by his less boozed friends who eventually - whilst also watching me punch numbers into my phone in an obvious manner - dragged him away.

There were no good books in the box.

Does this sort of behaviour make us thieves?

I have to admit to being more concerned that in such situations I am no help and as a woman I become incredibly worried about my own safety and how it might potentially go very badly for me. I feel pathetic.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Good things about being a grown up

Cake for breakfast.

Continuing on from the deliciousness caused by Karen and her generousity of DOOM last week, I just spent the rest of the week eating. I am good at eating. I wanted cake, I made cake, I ate cake. And because I made the cake, I know exactly how much butter and sugar I ate.

So, it's like, May. And it's colder at night now - the socks have come out. But it's still ever so lovely during the day and I'm prancing round in a bikini on the beach when I can - you know, because with my hectic life, sometimes I have to do other stuff. I'm just trying to think what that is, because it does keep me busy.

Caught up with Nat and his lovely wife, whom he's knocked up. They also fed me. I waddled home from their place as well. I was also clutching books - I like people who have bookshelves.

And the littlest Whitson turned 30 yesterday. In my head the munchkin is still 12, but apparently she's in her thirties too. Dear God.

Monday, May 3, 2010

You come twice, you pay twice

That's some good 'how this transaction is going to work' advice overheard between a woman (one can only guess at her profession) and a man at a restaurant where Karen works.

Another Monday in Sydney, another marvellous Monday with Karen. The past two she's journeyed over here and slummed it in Manly. Yesterday she went nuts and decided that just because I don't have a job, doesn't mean she can't take me out to lunch at Manly's fanciest restaurant. So she did. A lot of money and four hours later I was slouched in my chair, fancy restaurant be damned, so full of exceptionally delicious food and wine that I did not care what the wait staff thought of my poor posture. I did not want to leave my seat because I was worried the staff would have to roll me out like Violet Beauregarde in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory when she ate Wonka gum (that is definitely not a euphemism for anything, all you filth thinkers out there) and ballooned up.

We staggered out. Karen and her loyal steed Betty caught the ferry home and I walked very slowly up the hill home. Home is my new flat, which is just round the corner from Nic, so he can visit for luncheons and whatnot. We have a cat - this was a large part of my enthusiasm for moving in. It's hard to tell who is the bigger affection whore - me or Kitty. She's not so keen on sitting on laps but is more than willing to sit next to you and be petted. Pretty much just like me, really. She's probably a little cuter but I have thumbs so, no competition there.

Still gloriously, gleefully unemployed, thanks for asking. Will endeavour to do something about that this week. Or maybe next week. Will also attempt to not wind up in another lock in at my local pub of dubiousness - although the much, much free beer was very nice, it made walking home with Harriet, clutching the huge meat pack we'd won in a raffle very difficult. We dropped sausages all over the place. The dogs of Manly must have been overjoyed.