Expanding my peeing abilities

We go to the salt flats of Bolivia. They are all white and shiny and salty. I like them. But to get there we had to take a 12-hour bus. WITH NO TOILET. Bus officially left at 7pm. However, it took about an hour for all the bags and so forth belonging to locals to be loaded on, so in the mean time, I went and peed in a dark street. Bus was very packed and the seats were not made for people with very long legs, making sleeping difficult. At one stage I was resting my legs on a bag in the aisle, only I quickly realised that it was actually a person´s bottom when they moved. Sleeping in the aisle looked a lot more comfy than sleeping in my seat. However, we eventually get to Uyuni and track down our tour company. We have a jeep with a guide, two aussies and an Israeli. Fortunately, they all turn out to be perfectly acceptable travelling companions. Just as well. I can be a right bitch when confronted with evil fellow passengers.

Day one involves the salt flats. Oooh, these are all shiny. I want one. Have added to the Christmas list. There´s an ísland´in the middle, covered in cacti. With a German girl in a bikini attempting to hug one. She hurt herself. I laughed. Get to that night´s accomodation. Is made of salt. Hardly surprising, really. We drink whisky. It is nice. Helps fight the cold.

Day two, we leave the salt flats. See many llama and alpaca and the other one that looks like that but is a little smaller. I pee behind some rocks. And later I do this again, but behind different rocks. And later still, behind the jeep. Am getting pretty good at peeing in the great outdoors. We spend a lot of time in the jeep, driving places. It´s mostly desert. Some rocks. Pink flamingos, not standing on one leg, like they are supposed to. Some alpaca and the rabbit squirrel thingy. Get to next lot of accomodation, which is basic. Very basic. However, I am not feeling at all well and think that perhaps I am getting whatever Ben had that made him smell bad a day or two before, so I retire to bed very early. Apparently we are also getting up at 3.30am, so sleep is no doubt a good idea.

Day three. We do not get up at 3.30am. All the drivers (there are several jeeploads of tourists around) have been boozing and apparently our driver needs more sleep. He also looks as though someone has punched him. And, what fun! Two of our tires have been let down in the night! Hilarious. Eventually get going and see some more stuff, like lakes and more flamingos. And jump in natural spring. This is all good, although goes swiftly downhill when Ben borrows my bikini for a fashion shoot.
Two real flat tires and more peeing behind rocks and boulders and we´re back in Uyuni, where there are no buses out of town until tomorrow. Llama pizza for dinner and I think I might go and wash myself. God knows I don´t smell so good. But, eye pox might finally be clearing up. Jolly good, what?