Heavy breathing

As punishment for being so beautiful when everyone else is only average, and also possibly because I gave scathing and disgusted glares to the man sitting next to me on the Tube who kept sniffing in a revolting and vomit-inducing way, I have a cold. In an effort to stop it in its nasty phlegmy tracks I drank a great deal of 1 million per cent vitamin C-ridden juice whilst at work yesterday, but to no avail. I could tell things were not progressing well when I didn't want chocolate at lunch. So at 6pm, after destroying some trees with the help of the printer, I sailed off for home, determined to eat at least ten lemons. Unlike icky Tube man, I had a tissue so I did not upset the delicate sensibilities of my travelling companions. However, I think I may have started singing along to the ipod, and not everyone appreciates my voice, so perhaps I did irk a few people. But who doesn't like Bananarama?

I did indeed ingest some lemons, as well as some red wine, and then a lemon, ginger, honey and vodka drink, which I figured would make me sleep, at the very least. I have fond memories of my dad giving me something similar as a child - probably to stop me whining that I couldn't sleep because I felt ill - 'This'll sort you out, small child'. And I always did fall asleep - probably because I was drunk. He's a good man.

So today, instead of being at work, I have spent the day in bed, wishing we had a telly so I could watch utter nonsense - although, given that we have the internet, I've managed to fit quite a lot of bollocks-watching in. I have also done heaps of work, as in nerd-like fashion, I brought work home with me. It has to be done and it is so horrible that I've been putting it off for ages, despite the fact that I am way behind schedule on it. I have been blaming the author instead. But, I can see the end! Only 100 heavily marked-up pages about the Ottoman Empire to go.

The best part about today was brushing my teeth this morning. Nothing feels/tastes better after a night of heavy breathing when one's nose is blocked and one's throat is being troublesome. Well, lemonade would have been good, but we didn't have any and I'm too poorly to leave the house.