Yes, Yes I Know. I am shit on the updating. Life keeps getting in the fucking way, what with its stuff. But, I did get a new teacup and I think you'll all be just as happy about that as me.

Job goes well. Books! What's not to like. I have eaten a lot of cheese, worn a school uniform and a onesie, not yet crashed the car but may have accidentally come close.

And my dad is now the proud owner of his very first cell phone, courtesy of Penelope. Text him. TEXT HIM.

THE TEAPOTS ARE SAFE

I know you were all concerned about how I was going to get four teapots and all the associated shit that goes with owning many vessels home but I did it. Secure in my knickers and stuffed full of my socks the little teapots made the trip of a lifetime across the ditch, eager to acquire Kiwi accents and Bell tea.

Once home, I roused ma and pa out of retirement to go car shopping. They had the best time as I merely looked stupid and a bit colourist as I refused to buy a yellow vehicle. No need to look like I should be racing the streets of Tokyo when I can barely recall how to drive.

And now I'm safely ensconced in good ol' Auckland. It's no Wellington but as that city failed to find me the job, it's in the dogbox. Auckland has let me be a penguin and I am perfecting my waddle.

And now I have to look through my new flatmate's wedding album. He's divorced so this should be very good.

Packing up troubles and teapots

Attempts to pack for move back to NZ stymied by fact I am useless. Why do I own so many teapots made out of stuff that breaks easily?

Last few days at work and I am disappointed by the number of people who think it is perfectly acceptable to send me work when clearly I am busy researching just how I can get my extra bags of things I probably don't really need home.

Lackey time

Working New Year's Eve! Envy me, mofos.

I have hurt my bottom. Or the top of my thigh/left buttock, if you will. That'll teach me to stretch.

cups running over

Melbourne Cup day = openly drinking at the desk as the boss walks by.

Did not win office sweepstake. Did eat cupcakes.

Sydney has also given me my first sunburn of summer. In the cleavage again. I swear I lovingly rubbed sunblock on that body part. So lovingly. But alas, I'm now painfully rubbing aloe all over it instead. It's hot in a bad way.

Extreme excitement on the streets of Sydney. Topshop is here! People queued overnight! OMG we can be fashionable!

Given that Ratty and I are exceedingly hip and with it (why, I have flowered trousers) we set off to investigate all four floors of garment heaven. Things I realised quite quickly:

I am not hip and with it
I hate crowds
Shorts that zip up the back do something very odd to one's bottom
Topshop knickers are excellent

It was an exhausting morning and I had to come home and collapse on my bed with a block of chocolate that is now only half the block it used to be.

Also recently arrived in Sydney is summer. 32 degrees on Friday, that slumped to 20 today. Is really very irksome because no matter how warm it is outside, the aircon at work is set to Siberia.