Extreme hurtification

So dry July. So far I've had a lot of headaches. And so much pizza. Almost my entire quiz team is sober, which means we all get bored a great deal more quickly. Is quiz only bearable with booze? Can't be true.

Word up

The wind has picked up, due in no small part to me eating vegan for a week.

I've just been hassled by Australians for calling my jandals 'jandals'. Apparently this is weird. This statement comes from people who eat jaffles. I think that's all we need to know.

Sick but cool like Fonzie

So jet lag, the flu and hayfever do not mix.

But Flossie came to visit and now thanks to her I've been doing a few lines of Whittaker's most mornings. In return, I got her soaked through on a short stroll round Mantown, took her to a birthday party and then made her leave because I was shattered by 9.30.

Yes, I agree. I am cool.

Ich bin ein jelly donut

Berlin and Jessa's birthday. So of course I turned up late (thanks Easyjet) and made her drink a fair bit of wine so she would wake up hungover on her actual birthday. Because I'm an awesome friend. The kind of friend that turns up with Jim Beam in a fancy fucking tin - yes, that's right - classy bourbon. It does exist.

And my wisdom teeth are trying to announce themselves. Again. For the 17th year running. Am dulling the pain with what is actually probably quite an obscene amount of chocolate. Am not sure sugar is what my teeth actually need right now, but it makes me feel better even if it doesn't make wearing jeans so comfy.

Why does one city feel better than another? Berlin wastes Oudenaarde, even without the giant cockerels.

You know you're in Belgium when ...

you and your sister are lolling on couches watching Dawson's Creek.

Of cabbages and kings

There's a lot of cabbage and tea in Ireland. Have consumed a great deal of both. Have spent a lot of time in the bathroom as a consequence.

On cleanliness and champagne

I found my knickers! Such rejoycing and such a lot of laundry powder. Yes, that's right - they'd been stuffed in a side pocket in the large pack I took home for Christmas. Not the loveliest discovery but BUT I've got my knickers back.

This is probably of more interest to most people - I'm in London quaffing champagne. Because that's how I roll, mofos. Also. I have been to a GIG. That's how cool I am. Gigs - like the young and hip go to. Where we had to stand up even! I have also seen people from way back in my past but now they are here in my future and somewhere along the line they picked up kids and wives/partners or are discussing their weddings and all I can say is, 'Oh golly, more champagne you say, don't mind if I do'.

Being back in London is a little odd - like coming home but not really. I know where things are and how things work but still feel a little stupid and slow in trying to work things out. At least this time it's not going to take me 30 very angry minutes to find the sugar in the supermarket.

The London office is nice - large. Way large. I have been warned to only enter and exit the same way each day else be found weeks later in IT muttering, 'She said turn left by the stairwell, why can't I find the toilets?'

Best thing I have overheard so far - Germans asking what a gimp is. Those big jokers. Of course they know what a gimp is. They're German.