Back to basics

I am ashamed to note that I haven't talked about Manly's public toilets. This is remiss of me. With my bladder, knowledge of where the public can legally relieve themselves is of utmost importance. And Manly is coming out tops. Loos all over the place. And they seem to always have toilet paper. I heart Manly and you should too.

I had dinner with Amanda and Greg on Friday night, fully intent on coming home at an early hour. I sort of did. If by early I meant 3pm the next afternoon. I'm not sure how but somehow soup and mulled wine morphed into sofa, Motown, tales of South America and a 6am crash out time. In my defence, their sofa is very comfortable. And their mulled wine most drinkable. And the walk home the next day completely cured the headache I had managed to pick up somewhere in the night.

However, Amanda did dream that she was punching me so, perhaps I shouldn't make a habit of falling asleep on their furniture. Perhaps this is where my headache came from.

Oops, I did it again

I tripped again. With witnesses this time. Reopened knee wound and got another. I am a champion.

Nothing says sophisticated like a 32-year-old woman with sticking plasters on her knees and elbows. It does also rather suggest carpet burn, which might have been a much more pleasant way to get these injuries. Better luck next time, maybe.

Exercise is bad for me.

Taking it hard and fast

Hugs I have had recently that I have thoroughly enjoyed:

Karen
Nic
Harriet
Ruthie & Ian
A whole bunch of people at the pub the other night.

Hugs I have had recently that I have not enjoyed at all. No, siree.

The pavement.

So, in a moment that in retrospect was clearly drug induced, so insane was the action, I decided to go for what most might call a 'run'. However, is unfair to actual runners to describe it this way when in reality I stop, walk, chat to cats and tie up my shoelaces a great deal. And now I can add falling over to my list of 'running' accomplishments. In my defence, it was dark, the pavement was next to a cemetery so probably the broken up concrete I tripped over was zombies trying to escape and not me being clumsy, but whatever - I tripped and fell spectacularly. Fortunately, my beautiful face was not marred -I used my less-likely-to-be-seen-by-the-public elbow, knee and palm to take the blow. And then I lay, sprawled on the pavement saying just the one word over and over. This word could probably be found in the Oxford dictionary with 'obscenity' next to it.

And then I got back up and like a trooper I kept on going because in the dark the injuries looked a bit pathetic. Yes, I am indeed very brave.

Of course, when I got home, I discovered my leg was covered in blood, as was my shoe, thanks to Mr Knee. Disappointingly, there was no one home to appreciate this sight or offer me pity.

Our house is up for sale and on Saturday, just twenty minutes before the real estate agent arrived with the first lot of eager home buyers, my flatmate Kev put his foot through the floorboards in the hallway. We don't want the house to sell but Kev assures us his manoeuvre was entirely accidental. Apparently skipping like an elephant is part of his daily routine that just happened to coincide with a very weak floorboard.

Taking the pith

Today I wasted a good minute pondering how many hours of my life I have spent waging war on pith. For it is an ongoing battle and one I'm not even entirely sure that I shall win.

But I hate pith. Creepy little tendrils of horrid taunting me by clinging to the delicious flesh of mandarins. Inhaling it by accident is like eating cobwebs discarded by particularly vindictive spiders - a boobytrap that I must circumnavigate with all the cunning that Indiana Jones would utilise if he thought that the Orange Orb of Succulence was a religious artefact the Nazis were keen to steal in order to gain both world domination and freedom from scurvy.

It appears that summer is no more in Sydney. Instead we've had three weeks of rain and I have made myself very unpopular by admitting that I like it. Locals tell me this much rain is not normal. Coming from Wellington, I do find it normal and am delighted by the fact that despite the rain, it's still warmish and there's very little wind.

A sad fact must be faced though, and that is that my tan is no more. Yes, I really am that shallow.

Putting on my pathetic pants

So, Nic and I were wandering home from quiz night, stopping off at the Salvos and St Vinnies on the way, seeing what people have left outside these fine establishments as donations - people leave some weird stuff. This is how I got my favourite cardigan. Anyway, there was a box of books, which is like cat nip to Nic and I, and we were rifling through it with fevered brows - what might we find?

At this moment, four large men walked past, one of whom was rather intoxicated and took umbrage with us stealing from the poor. Given my unemployment status I rather think I am the poor but anyway ... I backed away feeling fearful and thinking that my skills, which do not include fist fighting, were going to be better deployed calling for help on Mr Mobile Phone. Nic, meanwhile was being all nice and non-confrontational, whilst this chap got rather angry and had to be somewhat restrained by his less boozed friends who eventually - whilst also watching me punch numbers into my phone in an obvious manner - dragged him away.

There were no good books in the box.

Does this sort of behaviour make us thieves?

I have to admit to being more concerned that in such situations I am no help and as a woman I become incredibly worried about my own safety and how it might potentially go very badly for me. I feel pathetic.

Good things about being a grown up

Cake for breakfast.

Continuing on from the deliciousness caused by Karen and her generousity of DOOM last week, I just spent the rest of the week eating. I am good at eating. I wanted cake, I made cake, I ate cake. And because I made the cake, I know exactly how much butter and sugar I ate.

So, it's like, May. And it's colder at night now - the socks have come out. But it's still ever so lovely during the day and I'm prancing round in a bikini on the beach when I can - you know, because with my hectic life, sometimes I have to do other stuff. I'm just trying to think what that is, because it does keep me busy.

Caught up with Nat and his lovely wife, whom he's knocked up. They also fed me. I waddled home from their place as well. I was also clutching books - I like people who have bookshelves.

And the littlest Whitson turned 30 yesterday. In my head the munchkin is still 12, but apparently she's in her thirties too. Dear God.

You come twice, you pay twice

That's some good 'how this transaction is going to work' advice overheard between a woman (one can only guess at her profession) and a man at a restaurant where Karen works.

Another Monday in Sydney, another marvellous Monday with Karen. The past two she's journeyed over here and slummed it in Manly. Yesterday she went nuts and decided that just because I don't have a job, doesn't mean she can't take me out to lunch at Manly's fanciest restaurant. So she did. A lot of money and four hours later I was slouched in my chair, fancy restaurant be damned, so full of exceptionally delicious food and wine that I did not care what the wait staff thought of my poor posture. I did not want to leave my seat because I was worried the staff would have to roll me out like Violet Beauregarde in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory when she ate Wonka gum (that is definitely not a euphemism for anything, all you filth thinkers out there) and ballooned up.

We staggered out. Karen and her loyal steed Betty caught the ferry home and I walked very slowly up the hill home. Home is my new flat, which is just round the corner from Nic, so he can visit for luncheons and whatnot. We have a cat - this was a large part of my enthusiasm for moving in. It's hard to tell who is the bigger affection whore - me or Kitty. She's not so keen on sitting on laps but is more than willing to sit next to you and be petted. Pretty much just like me, really. She's probably a little cuter but I have thumbs so, no competition there.

Still gloriously, gleefully unemployed, thanks for asking. Will endeavour to do something about that this week. Or maybe next week. Will also attempt to not wind up in another lock in at my local pub of dubiousness - although the much, much free beer was very nice, it made walking home with Harriet, clutching the huge meat pack we'd won in a raffle very difficult. We dropped sausages all over the place. The dogs of Manly must have been overjoyed.